Patricia's story: overcoming addiction and tragedy

One of the most painful experiences a person can imagine is the loss of a child. Imagine if what you thought to be a tragic, inexplicable accidental death turned out to be the murder of your child?

This painful tragedy was what ultimately led Patricia to LifeChange four years ago. Patricia, like many other LifeChange residents, has had a lifetime of hard experiences leading to a moment of crying out for help.

Patricia remembers a basically happy childhood growing up in the Coos Bay, Oregon area. Despite closeness and happy times, there was a dark undercurrent. Her family battled against bad economic times and addiction in the family. Patricia's parents divorced when she was a teenager, and she developed insecurities from being picked on by other kids. Patricia drank in high school and tried pot when she was 15, from there she tried meth at age 18. She became a teenage mom. An addiction to both meth and relationships with abusive men then developed. She was in and out of treatment programs, jail and bad relationships. She had another son, Jeffery. She lost custody of both of her sons for a time. Her oldest son ultimately went to live with his father, but she did regain custody of her younger son, Jeffery. For a while, things improved. Patricia was taking her recovery seriously, working and re-establishing her connection with Jeffery.

Another man came into Patricia's life, a man who fit the pattern she had established: abusive and into drugs. He was also angry and jealous, even jealous of Jeffery. Patricia was slipping, using again and adding to her live-in boyfriend's anger by using drugs with her ex-husband.

On Patricia's 24th birthday, she and her boyfriend discovered Jeffery's lifeless body in bed. Initially, it was thought to be an inexplicable tragedy. Despite the pain, life went on and one and half months after Jeffery's death Patricia married her boyfriend. Three months after her son's death, the police let Patricia know her new husband had confessed to murdering her son.

Patricia broke down and immersed herself in a meth binge, and she ended up in jail on drug charges. She was desperate for help and to escape her life in Coos Bay. Her parole officer let her know about LifeChange. Patricia hopped on a bus for Portland.

Recovery and facing the past have been hard, but Patricia is thriving. She is a leader in LifeChange and has shared her experience with other LifeChange members to help them grow in their recovery as she has. In LifeChange, Patricia feels she has had a "homey," non-institutional, loving, and Christ centered place to build a new life. She now has a good relationship and regular contact with her oldest son. She is hopeful for the future. After LifeChange she would like to become a bookkeeper or work in a library. She's learning to trust again and build healthy and godly friendships.

LifeChange is about more than just getting the drugs out of someone's system in the physical sense. It is about coping with the hurt and brokenness underneath and learning to live as a valued child of God.

What is LifeChange?

LifeChange is a community. Each member of LifeChange lives and works together at the Mission. The cornerstone of LifeChange is faith in the transforming power of Jesus Christ. LifeChange is a peer-based, each resident helps each other to identify issues and grow in their recovery. LifeChange is self-governed, as residents work together to make decisions as a community. LifeChange is long-term, and goal– oriented. Most residents spend two to four years to complete LifeChange.

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