John- From anger to reconciliation 

When you see John Parsons tenderly holding the hand of his wife Kerri, and getting choked with emotion as they recall their long journey to repairing their severely damaged marriage, it’s almost impossible to believe that four years ago that his outstanding character trait was anger.

John reflects on his life before coming to Union Gospel Mission’s LifeChange recovery program, he is blunt: “It sucked.”

In a rough and tumble childhood marred by a sexual abuse episode, John started using cigarettes, beer and marijuana at age 12. Later he used cocaine, and meth became his main drug. Already seething with bitterness and anger, meth intensified his strong feelings of rage. John wore his powerful anger like a badge. He was even angry at God.

John’s drug use repeatedly landed him in jail. He was involved in severely beating another inmate, breaking his ribs and puncturing his lung. As punishment, John was thrown in “the hole.”

It was in the hole that John had what he calls “a supernatural experience.” Even though angry at God, he read a Bible that was tossed in the hole with him. After reading and falling asleep he awoke oddly peaceful. Armed with a new spiritual outlook, John responded to an officer of the jail, Sergeant Carpenter, who gave him an application to the LifeChange addiction recovery program.

Coming into LifeChange John was impressed with the fast pace, and in LifeChange for the first time in his life he felt a sense of peace and was not constantly prepared to start a brawl.

However, John had a lot to deal with in LifeChange. Facing the roots of his addiction and a multitude of destructive behaviors was not easy. The laundry list of issues included anger, addiction, pornography addiction, racism, patterns of verbal, emotional, and sexual abuse.

He admits he wasn’t always the easiest guy to deal with in LifeChange: “I had to be broken to learn self-control. I had more ‘processes’ than any other guy in the history of LifeChange. A ‘process’ is just working through an issue and I had to go through a lot.”

John is also unusual in his success and effort in repairing his marriage. Sadly, by the time they get to LifeChange, most people’s marriages are beyond repair. It looked like John and Kerri were well down that road as well, but eventually both made the commitment to try to make it work.

Facing the fact that drugs, addictions, infidelity on both sides, and vengeful behaviors had made a wreck of their marriage, John and Kerri were brutally honest with each other, but made a bold commitment to overcome their past and restore trust in their marriage. John remained true to his commitment to recovery in LifeChange. Kerri also quit drugs and took care of their two young children. They both went through counseling with Union Gospel Mission Ministry Director Clint Sams for over a year.

Anyone who sees John and Kerri together can see the positive results of their hard work.

When asked what he plans to do after graduation, John holding Kerri’s hand, says, “Be a good husband and father, work as a truck driver, get involved with my church, and maybe going fishing about once a month.”

Kerri and John laugh when Kerri says, “Only once a month?”

What is LifeChange?

LifeChange is a community. Each member of LifeChange lives and works together at the Mission. The cornerstone of LifeChange is faith in the transforming power of Jesus Christ. LifeChange is a peer-based, each resident helps each other to identify issues and grow in their recovery. LifeChange is self-governed, as residents work together to make decisions as a community. LifeChange is long-term, and goal– oriented. Most residents spend two to four years to complete LifeChange.

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